Personal lessons learnt at @BlissdomCanada #BlissdomCA
As many of you know, I recently attended Canada’s leading social media conference, Blissdom Canada as a Community Leader. While words cannot do those few days justice, I’d like to share two important ideas I took away from it.
My friend and one half of Blissdom Canada, Jennifer Powell (@HartGalla) shared a piece of advice with the audience that someone had told her, that when something bad happens to us, comes at us or is said to us, to let it be through you, not of you. These words, combined with Drew Dudley’s infamous keynote speech in which he said to not let others live rent free in your head spoke wonders to me.
The world of social media can be a tricky place to navigate. Information spreads at the speed of light and there exists about half a degree of separation between any two people at most times. Confidences can be betrayed in seconds and personal images/branding destroyed even quicker. Friends and family members may not be in touch in person but choose to stalk you on social. I took a step back and reflected on those words. Why was it that they shook me to my core? Why was it that they left me in a puddle of tears? It’s because it is so much easier to be negative than positive. It is so much easier to hold a grudge than to forgive, especially when it hurts, BAD.
I’ve written before about why Blissdom means so much to me. It’s because it’s an attitude. It’s a fundamental shift in perception. Too many of us spend our lives mulling over negativity, allowing it to consume us. Too few of us allow ourselves to break free.
We are inherently needy creatures seeking validation, acceptance and peace (okay, some more than others). But when you tell yourself that you, and only you, can control your mind then, and only then, can anything that comes your way be through you and not of you.
This was my first Blissdom, and while I was nervous to meet new people, I told myself I would get out of it what I put into it. I gave myself permission to pull up a chair and introduce myself to anyone and everyone I could. At the same time, I also said it’s okay for people not to like me. It’s not a popularity contest but a chance to step entirely out of my comfort zone and embrace newness and a possibility for awesomeness to take hold. I came home with amazing new relationships and a sense of community.
The second piece of advice stems from Drew Dudley who I have to start by saying is one incredible, articulate and inspirational man. He spoke about the phenomenon of allowing others to live rent free in your head and being a better landlord. I can speak for myself, when someone or something gets under my skin it really gets under there. It starts to consume me. I allowed his wise words to transform my thinking. Instead of being reactive to words and situations around me, I can be proactive and decide who and what will affect me and to what degree.
This is something that everyone can relate to in person and in the world of social. We each control how much or how little what goes on around us will affect us.
I can truly say that I came out of Blissdom a wiser and more tolerant person. Hopefully these two mantras can help you too.
You were EVERYWHERE at Blissdom, Fariha and I’m shocked to read that you were “nervous”. Gosh, it just shows that even those who I look up to as accomplished and outgoing still have their own things going on inside! Great post, and thanks for your great chats at Blissdom, and beyond!
It’s true Christa. Even the most outgoing have their moments of “eek!” It doesn’t take away from who we are just proves that we all have our own inward discussions/demons 🙂 Thanks for reading. I really enjoyed our chats as well.
I never would have known you were nervous Fariha! Every time I saw you, you had a warm, genuine and engaging smile which made me feel at ease. You were one of the many special people I was so fortunate to have meet at Blissdom. I’m so glad you went. Also: awesome pic of you and Drew. You guys are all matchy and everything 🙂
I totally identify with this! Even though I seem like an outgoing person, Blissdom was scary for me too and I’m SO glad I got out of my comfort zone behind the keyboard and did it! 🙂 mission: complete!
I know right!
So glad I got to meet you! Blissdom was just an awesome experience. I hope I can make it there again. And I am jealous you got a picture with Drew! He is so wise.
I literally wound up walking right past him and stopped to chat. He is very wise and incredibly gifted! It was great meeting you as well 🙂
I love this! I definitely agree, Blissdom was such an eye-opening experience that made me want to be a better person both online and offline. “If you’re not kind on the internet, you’re not kind.” ~Drew Dudley.
It was great to meet you and you’re such a lovely person =)
I really enjoyed our chats as well Lisa 🙂
Hi Fariha! I’m also surprised to hear you were nervous. I assumed you were a veteran Blissdom attendee. You seemed so friendly and comfortable. I did not introduce myself but I will be sure to next year. I can’t get those Drew Dudley words out of my head either: ‘don’t let them live rent-free’. Those words continue to affect my thinking. Great post:)
Thanks! I had a fantastic time and thought if I’ve come all this way, I’m not going to let nerves keep me from enjoying myself to the fullest.
Was not at Blissdom, but did enjoy the clip of Drew Dudley on your post. Thank you and take care. 🙂
Thanks for reading. He is an incredible man!
It was such a pleasure connecting with you!!!!
It was great connecting with you as well Lindsay 🙂
Hi Fariha, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m happy you enjoyed Blissdom. Looking forward to reading more of your work.