Why I HATE Netflix

Everyone is talking about Netflix. It’s practically a verb. What are you Netflix’ing? Netflix and chilling (which is apparently about more than just pyjamas, Netflix and a big ol’ bowl of popcorn), it’s even a complete sentence. What are you doing tonight? Netflix. ‘Nuff said. Frankly, while everyone is going on and on about how much they LOVE Netlix, I’m going to lay it all out there and tell you why I recently discovered that I HATE Netflix. Yes, you read it right. I know I’ve written about how much I love Netflix and I’ve even written about my odd Netflix obsessions but enough is enough, the following are some of the reasons why I HATE Netflix.

Reason #1:

My inner binge watcher loses every, single, time. You may find this comical but there is nothing funny about a 30-something (Did I say 30…I meant 20…something…errr….okay, never mind) woman binge watching ridiculously addictive shows with all abandon of self control. I mean I sit down to watch ONE episode but then somebody gets kidnapped, or hurt, or something and I NEED to know what happens next. I simply cannot wait. Next thing I know it is 3am and I am shaking my head, vowing to never do this again, until the following night.

Reason #2:

Netflix gives me major sleep issues. See Reason #1. I am NOT sleeping enough. The shows on Netflix are simply too good. The storylines on Netflix originals rival Hollywood blockbusters, I’m able to add shows and movies to My List, it customizes shows to my preferences and it practically knows me. Netflix UNDERSTANDS me, you know. It’s hard sometimes. But Netflix GETS me. Thus resulting in me sleeping at 3am. With two kids and a business and blog to run, that simply does not leave me with enough sleeping hours. It’s all Netflix’s fault. There. I said it.

Reason #3:

All the best shows are on Netflix so keeping up is almost impossible. See Reason #2. There are SO many suggestions. If you want to take a trip down memory lane, you can. There are so many classics to watch. If you want to watch entire series (again, see point above), you can. Okay, you’re probably not supposed to watch an entire series in ONE night, or 36 hours, but it can be done in case you’re wondering. I know. I am very thorough with my research on this subject, so believe you me.

Reason #4:

Being able to download shows on the go means no more fighting between my kids on road trips which which means peace and quiet which means…wait, that concept is so foreign to me I can’t event tell you what that means. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my kids are not fighting, arguing, competing or simply poking one another (although both tell me that clearly the other started it).

Reason #5:

The last but not least important reason why I HATE Netflix is that I am clearly ADDICTED. I do not know what I would do without Netflix. We cut the cable umbilical chord years ago and have not looked back since. My kids don’t miss it. We don’t miss it. Watching shows with commercials and waiting entire WEEKS until the next episode is SO 2012.

Having said that, in case it’s not clearly apparent, this was a satire piece. I don’t in fact hate Netflix any more than I hate pizza and cheesecake. These are all things that would be super convenient if I did hate, but I don’t and clearly cannot even pretend I do. 

DISCLOSURE: As a member of the Netflix Stream Team, I receive some perks. All opinions however are 100% my own.