Coping with Cancer: What you need to know.
A cancer diagnosis is hard on the person who has it of course, but it is also hard on their loved ones. Learning how to cope is a process for everyone involved and for everyone it can be different. This is a devastating time for not only the person who has cancer but for their family and friends. The doctors and nurses are a huge help but there are things that even they can’t tell you to expect when learning how to cope with cancer. Everyone is different and will experience different things, but here are a few things that can really help when coping with cancer.
It’s okay to be angry and express your anger. A cancer patient and their loved ones will go through many emotions. Fear and sadness are always expected but most people don’t realize the anger that comes along with a cancer diagnosis. You may see a different side of yourself or your loved one and it’s okay to let that anger out. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed for being angry and let your loved ones know that they can be angry and talk about it also. It may seem easier to hold it in, but that does more harm than good. Yell, scream, cry, punch a pillow, as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else in the process, it’s best to let that anger out.
Don’t let your world or theirs revolve around cancer. With all of the medical stuff; appointments, treatments, surgery, testing, cancer becomes a huge part of your life. Always keep in mind that a person who has been diagnosed with cancer is still the same person they were before the diagnosis. Whether it’s you or someone you love, continue to do things you enjoy as much as possible. Don’t let every conversation be about cancer. It’s okay to talk about it, but that shouldn’t be the only thing you discuss. Make plans, hang out; just continue to do what you always have.
Don’t be afraid to offer or ask for help. When a person is diagnosed with cancer, one of the things they may worry about is being a burden to friends and family. If a loved one is diagnosed with cancer offer help when you can, a ride to the doctor, a listening ear or running some errands are all things that you can do to help. If you were diagnosed with cancer, don’t be afraid to ask for help. The people that love you want to help you. Let them. Often times just knowing someone is there for you can be a tremendous help by itself.
A cancer diagnosis is life changing for everyone involved and brings with it so many feeling, issues and emotions. You may not know what to do or say at times, and that is expected but there are some things that
you can do to provide comfort and support to yourself, your loved one who has been diagnosed and other friends and family members who are dealing with this situation as well.
Locally, we have the Huntsman Cancer Institute, which is dedicated to beating cancer. The awareness campaigns talk a lot about the fact that it’s not just a medical issue, but a mental, emotional and spiritual issue as well. Most of all, it has taught our community to reach out and understand what a cancer patient is going through, and helps us to be with both patients and survivors.
What an excellent institute! So happy to hear it exists.
Cancer is one of those diseases that devours everything around it. It practically eats our loved ones’ bodies, but it also eats our own souls while we watch our loved ones waste away. It’s a horrible thing, and I wish we could just get rid of it once and for all.
This is an evil disease that I would never want my worst enemy to have (if I had one). I really hope that one day a cure is revealed.
My FIL has cancer and it totally sucks. I watch as he tries to be so strong, yet the cancer is literally killing him. We try to help him and be there for him, but it is so tough
Hugs!
So very sad 🙁 You’re so right about the patient feeling like a burden. Unfortunately, that’s so normal, but SO not true for the people that love them!
I have lost my mother and two uncles to cancer within a 5 year span and it was hard. Until they were hospitalized we tried to live life as normally as we could but you could see the toll the disease was taking on them.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss!
I think most everyone knows someone that has been affected by cancer. It’s scary and has no bounds. Here’s to finding a cure and fast.
It is so hard to know what to do when a loved one is diagnosed with Cancer. It is important to try to keep up on regular activity’s so their days are not all about Cancer.
I pray they can find a cure for Cancer in my lifetime. When my friend was diagnosed i started making meals for her and her family. On Sundays we make up enough food for the week. When she was feeling good she would help. It took a ton of stress off of her.
What a wonderful thing for you to do for your friend.
Cancer is one of the most awful things that exist in this world! If you need help to work through it, there’s no shame in that!
My aunt is battling cancer and I can only imagine how difficult it is. I hope they find a cure.
I think it’s really difficult for some patients to express their fear, frustrations or anger sometimes. My husband was a big guy and he didn’t look like he was ill at all. He had a big voice and if you didn’t know him, you might think he was a mean dude (that feeling would go away about 2 seconds after you met him). When he was going through chemo, he felt crappy. Sometimes at the cancer clinic, things got messed up (appointment times, prescriptions, etc.). I always would always try to keep him calm but he would be understandably upset and frustrated.
On the one occasion where he did state what he was feeling, he was tagged as a trouble maker. The next time we went to clinic, he was stuck in a chair out in the hall, the chemo day equivalent of sitting on the naughty step and there was a definite chill toward him for a few weeks. The hospitals have a zero tolerance policy about abusive patients which I completely understand. What Mark was expressing was not abuse, he was frustrated, afraid and he felt crappy. There was no distinction between those two things by the folks providing his treatment and it made things really difficult for him as a patient and for me as the person who was trying to keep things calm and peaceful.
Thanks for sharing your very insightful comments Julie. It must have been so hard for you during that period your husband went through. I can only imagine the range of emotions you must have experienced. *hugs*